I GUESS: Square Toe Shoes

As my first entry in fashion bitchery, I’ll explain my angle here:

WAIT. Better yet. I will tell you what I DON’T think I am, so as to curb some off-the-bat hate I (deservingly, yes… i know this) will receive.

So, I am NOT:

1. In any way qualified to tell you how to and how not to dress
2. Trying to get you to dress like me… that would be wack and wouldnt make me a walking “NEVAH”
3. A snob… [BUT MAYBE A DOUCHEBAG! ie.. no Biggy Fries BROSEF! (i’m joking here)]
4. Prissy… I spit, burp, and scratch myself in public just like the rest of us.. just i dont get caught
5. Wealthy by any means… I’m a college student with nothing but entry level salaries on my plate for post graduation life
6. Concerned with high fashion… runways are too theatric as far as i’m concerned, not that there’s anything wrong with thespians, male models, and high fashion.. However, “high fashion” is typically over the top, flambouyant, unpractical, and ridiculously overpriced. This blog is a guide for above-average joes– men who want to have a fashion resource they don’t have to feel ashamed of… or that tells them to buy $1000 suits that will get them laughed out of a boardroom (all while paired with expensive tennis shoes)

Now that that’s out of the way… on to my rant:

I hate square-toe shoes.

Not all dress shoes that end in a flat point are bad, let’s be clear. BUT if you can literally draw a rectangle around your leather engulfed toes.. OR you see nothing but quadrilateral poking out from under your slacks.. you’re in a territory i steer clear of.

Backtracking a bit, I have a pair of square toe shoes still… actually 2. Why do I still have them? Rainy days, bar crawls, and one’s simply just comfortable and i can get away with it.

We can all get away with it. Everyone has square toes… BUT to stand out a little, while still being practical, that’s the goal here…

Bottom line, invest in some good leather pointed toe shoes… cap-toe, wingtips even… leave the square toes for more casual things… if you really want to look a cut above, ditch the square boys all together.. they’re clunky, 90’s ish, and make you look like you’re ignorant and don’t care

SUB-bottom Line.. You want to appear like you don’t read this blog, because you’re a dude “what do you care about all this fashion stuff”.. ALTHOUGH, if you really REALLY didn’t care, you’d be less attractive and captivating SO… play the tight rope, over analyze while you purchase.. research, research.. that way you can be a little douchey when someone asks where you got those dapper looking wingtips and reply “ahhh.. i thought they looked nice.. a little fancy for work.. ya know.. whatever”

and BOOM. you just rocked their fuckin world.


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