The Case of the Man-Blouse.

You’re in the store shopping for a dress shirt. You’re in a discount store, stocking up on $15 white shirts, more specifically.

“Ahh.. Donald Trump Collection.. sounds like it has to be good. Ooh.. Polo! only $25!? AND its got the pony!”

You stock up, bring them home, iron them (do STOP reading now if you don’t iron them and think new shirts should have windowpane creases), and hang them up for tomorrow.

You wake up the next day, wash up, and get dressed.

Then it hits you. Literally, the shirt itself hits you as you walk. You’ve got you blazer/jacket on hold for right now while you finish getting yourself together for work. You walk around and yep, there it is. The torso of your tucked in, belted down, dress shirts is hitting your arms as you walk.

YOU, my friend, have on a Man-Blouse.

Excess baggage under the right arm.

Billowy. Not in a fun way.

Jet-Puffed McMan. It’s like he’s got ducts feeding air up his paint legs, depositing ventilation into his shirt.

It’s time to get yourself a fitted, or at least much slimmer dress shirt.

Very well done.

Also well done.. and this may be pulled from a Target ad? No excuses now.

Pretty good. This should be the benchmark… sans the over-excited lip gesture trying desperately to add its two-cents to the visionary stare.
4 Responses to “The Case of the Man-Blouse.”
  1. John says:

    What do you do if you’re built more like a NFL center and less like a thin male model?

  2. manshion says:

    Be a jerk and unclip, unfold, unpackage shirts in the store and try them on, definitely.

    Too many times I thought “I know my size, this’ll be fine” and wound up with something that is just taking up space in my closet and I’ll only wear to my grandparents house, if they can guarantee no relevant visitors (with hands on dual-bibles).

    I’m going to write a post soon about getting things that fit.. which is different for everyone.

    I will probably poke fun at NFL Center sized dudes wearing medium t-shirts or overly narrow shirts.

    I have not fully rounded out the concept, but essentially it will focus on you finding your measurements and ALWAYS trying things on when trying a new brand.

    But for NFL centers looking to stay sharp, totally search online for “athletic cut” dresswear… A friend of mine gets all of his shirts in this cut and he totally pulls off a trim, fashion-forward look.. without looking like his shirts is so tight that it snaps together in the crotch, leotard-style.

  3. Kamikaze says:

    To address the NFL concern, if push comes to shove…custom shirts, i.e. Charles Tyrwhitt, Thomas Pink…get the drift?

    The truth is, you’ll barely ever find a perfect shirt off the rack. That’s when the tailor comes in. Ask for V-cuts! Or “Please fit my body, tuck me.” While you’re at it, get him to look at the sleeves to, sometimes they come off looking like silos depending on the brand.

  4. John says:

    I had a great tip once from a military guy (they give you one size and you’re expected to look crisp and trim). Fold a crease down the back of your shirt. If you’re sitting down or in a jacket, you’ll never be found out and you don’t have to spend $40+ on shirts that you’ll throw out in 4 months due to pit stains (you all know I’m right…and I’m not a fatty).

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