House Rules #3

Boxed shirt and tie sets are for children, Einsteins, and arson victims.

Children’s clothes are chosen by parents who know children will a.) ruin them, b.) can’t comprehend caring. Also, Einstein was too busy inventing shit we’ll never understand to spend time buying shirts and ties separately.

Arson victims lost their home to a terrible, plotted act of flaming terrorism (let’s all pause and laugh at those words)… hence they are allowed to dress themselves from the ‘prepackaged spork & napkin’ equivalent of business wear. The grace period varies on a case to case basis.

2 Responses to “House Rules #3”
  1. Kamikaze says:

    I’d like to add to this a list of people most often seen violating House Rule #3:

    Preacher-like people
    Fashionless blacks
    Marshalls/TJ Max/ etc. shoppers
    Young men still being dressed by their parents

    Fact of the matter is, dude, we can tell they packaged the shirt and tie together, you can’t fool us. The tie usually has this symmetrically ugly image on it with a black border. The shirt is never a color that you can find in a crayon box, its like the dark version of the regular colors…Sorry but this subject touched on a sensitive spot in my heart.


    A Business Man.

  2. Robert says:

    LOL at “flaming terrorism” and Osama Bin Laden in ass-less chaps.

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