skinny jeans

What once started as a rockstar and rock-fanboy trend, the skinny jeans of the last 5 years have finally come to the masses. The days of searching the women’s department in walmart for tight, yet somewhat manly-looking jeans is over (thank goodness!… said ‘thanks’ not spawned from personal experience).

Note: I know dudes who did this back in the day (actually just 5 years ago… they were in a band, or were roadie/showgower types… they also used to “dance” at hardcore rock shows in these skinny pants… don’t for a second think they were some dreamy-eyed, little waist-down cross-dressing mates though… “dancing” for them actually looked more like a 3 hour brawl where karate, moshing, crowd surfing, and sometimes just pure unadulterated bare knuckle fighting occured) [in short… those blood stained, ciggarette scented, petite wranglers went effin’ HARD]

Anyhow, yes, the slim jean (and what trendy men’s clothing isn’t slim these days?) is very much in. However, like all trends and fashion waves, there are varying degrees.

Conservative… Narrow(er) if you will:

Fashionable Dude (this is about the limits of generally accepted manshion principles)

Super Hip Style… you might just be too cool for school, to each his own, though… I’d suggest a lumberjack style flannel shirt atop these anorexic little numbers, just to throw a concrete block of masculine in the mix. However, hats off to rock stars and those among us mere mortals who pull these off on a daily basis (you’ve either got some real “chutzpah” or some good friends who dress just like you)

There ya go, fella’s. Pick your poison. Whatever you do though, baggy is certainly not an option anymore. Sad, really, that those old baggy with carpenter pocket Hilfigers from a decade or more ago, will, unfortunately be reduced to lawn-moving apparel.

[Note: this should have been done just about a decade ago as well.]


Skinny Jean Law:

  • Wear men’s pants, flat out.
  • Noting the 1st comment below: if you are a heavier man and/or have exceedingly large thighs, go for option number one– relaxed and slim. Option number 3 on you is not a walk in the park for you or anyone involved.
  • If you kneecaps and their every crevasse, bulge, and contour can be made out distinctly through your jeans, you’ve gone too far for the average man
5 Responses to “skinny jeans”
  1. Love that you’re writing about men in skinnies! urban outfitters has a ton of great mens styles out there!! I am even trying to get my dad into a narrower leg, I have to admit, you do have to be on the skinnier side to wear a skinny jean.

  2. MosquitoControl says:

    Ah, I remember when girls jeans and white belts swept young listeners of shitty faux-hardcore seven or eight years ago. They weren’t hard, despite what this post said. They listened to 18 Visions, Avenged Sevenfold, and other awful bands. They sat around brooding under their bangs, cutting themselves, and crying. These were the originators of the current “emo” trend that we all hate so much. They weren’t hard; they were busy running from the ones that were (the ones that were are the kids that brought us mesh hates, camo cargo shorts, vans slip ons, skulls on every piece of clothing, full sleeve tattoos, and tons of other current or past cliches.)

    I wear 527s personally. Skinny, but not too bad. They don’t look great when they stretch, though, the hips get too wide.

    511s look ridiculous on, but probably stretch out better if you don’t wash them.

  3. mike says says:

    what about skin-tight Arizona corduroys?

  4. Pablo Raul Trillion III says:

    Well let me tell you a bit with my revelation to wear skinny jeans or jeans that are more fit in a sense (not really skinny but not baggy). It all started during the summer of 2006. Living in a predominantly West Indian neighborhood, all the people from the islands were wearing fitted jeans. Boom there we go.

  5. pat says:

    i personally love skinny jeans… their the only type of jeans i own!

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