Summer 2008 Must-Have: The Monocle.

Monocles are back in a big way.  Like a $5 foot-longs at Subway, kind of big way (huge).

You may ask, “Manshion, what is a monocle and where do they come from?” Have no fear, reader. Wikipedia’s going to tackle this beast of a question in flawless user-generated fashion.

A monocle is a type of corrective lens used to correct the vision in only one eye. It consists of a circular lens, generally with a wire ring around the circumference that can be attached to a string. The other end of the string is then connected to the wearer’s clothing to avoid losing the monocle.

In this “rebirth of the dandy” state men’s fashion currently enjoys, what better way to showcase one’s gentlemanliness than by wearing a single corrective lens?

It’s pure science, gents’… I say day in and day out, “minimize, consolidate, shave off weight, keep it classy, etc.”

Let’s scrap the formalities, though– Cut the synonymous linguistics short, if you (I?) will.

Today, I am basically telling you cut and dry:

  • Hack your prescription glasses in half
  • Dismantle the sides
  • Solder a chain to the remains of the hinge
  • Shave down the excess trimmings to form but a single, quasi-circular rim
  • Affix chain to your garment of choice
  • Insert monocle and…
  • Squint.
  • Squint all day long.

What? Dare you not believe the word of manshion that monocles are the new shiz(s) on the block?

HA.

Any Questions.

(Notice I’m not even asking you that question, that’s how few questions there should be.)

Where do you get such a dignified cycloptic status symbol?

Why, from this amazon queen pictured below, that’s where.

Click this pre-internet hairdo’ed temptress for the link.

No more from manshion for the week, after my recent success in bringing back the monocle, I’ll be kicking back, counting my profits from the sales commission eyeglass.com will be sending my way.

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Comments
4 Responses to “Summer 2008 Must-Have: The Monocle.”
  1. COME AND SEE HOW GOOD I LOOK! says:

    this entry is your best to date.

    beating out the previous title-holder; the spongebob/toasted almond runway disaster!

  2. COME AND SEE HOW GOOD I LOOK! says:

    this is is your best to date.

    beating out the previous title-holder; the spongebob/toasted almond runway disaster

  3. MosquitoControl says:

    Funny, I actually bought a monocle on ebay last week.

    I felt the need to up my pretentious obnoxiousness. Can’t wait until it arrives.

  4. Pablo Raul Trillion III says:

    Monocle, a piece of eye wear a true aristocrat must have.

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