impress women by cooking

Yes, the manshion man cooks… for other people, mostly… and for appearance purposes… mostly.

You’re having a party at the ‘crib,’ actually we’re going to call it a ‘flat’ from here on.  I like the way it sounds. So you’ve got to have some hors’d’oeuvres (have to google up that spelling every time), right?

Fresh Guacamole


  • Avocados, ideally one per serving, so for a party, get, like 5 or 6
  • Garlic salt
  • Salsa
  • Lemon

How to:

  • Cut avocados in half and remove the pits
  • Slice and dice up the avocado while in the skin into fine little pieces
  • Squeeze everything green out of the skin and into your mixing bowl, mashing up the fruit as much as you can
  • For each avocado you want a small spoonful of salsa (really skimp on this at first, add as needed)
  • Sprinkle dashes of garlic salt to taste
  • Sprinkle some lemon all over
  • Mix and taste, mashing up the mixture until it forms a consistent paste


  1. Pick avocados by feeling them to make sure they’re a little soft all around, that way you know they’re ripe and not going to be hard, lumpy, and un-tasty
  2. Guacamole only takes 3-5 minutes to make… drink a beer while throwing this together, it’s more fun
  3. Get good chips to pair this with… you know, the kind that cost an extra dollar and come in a cool “authentic” bag
  4. Guac’ is sticky and messy–whatever bowl you mix it in, you’ll want to serve it in as well… so pick a nice one off the bat

There may or may not be more cooking stuff up here, we’ll see.

PS. This technically isn’t even cooking, but, oh well.

Oh, yea… mandatory picture.

One Response to “impress women by cooking”
  1. Pablo Raul Trillion III says:

    Why don’t you let the masses how to cook something that exudes a little more masculinity. You don’t want your house guest blowing away from a small gust of wind. Why not little pieces of steak on toothpicks served with a dash of A1 sauce.

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