your shoes should be narrow and pointy.

In the event that you were somehow trapped in a hostage situation, bound and gagged on the floor of a madman’s cellar, passing the time (before your inevitable demise) by catching glances at a nearby computer screen (tuned to and could only make out this post title in your feeble attempt at entertaining and enlightening yourself as you lay prone in the hands of death… I descriptively named this post for you.

In manshion’s early days (back when the site had not much more than a handful of rants in the archive) I spoke on my issue with square-toe shoes. The issue is… they’re played out. If you haven’t already, you need to slowly phase these out as they are going the way of the wallabee.. as this clever graphic will depict:

So, that about sums up how I feel about square-toe shoes. I have a pair still in my possession and I’ve named each individual shoe Boxxy and Silly.

What killed the square-toe? Silicone Valley, big ugly jumpsuit-like, “I-don’t-know-how-to-wear-a-suit, the suit just wears me” types… and my generation, who thought this was something to aspire towards and went along for the awkward ride.

Cockroach Killers are back:

Banana Republic. I have these in black, highly recommended. $138.00

And the cheap-version… For less than $35, you can’t go wrong.

Just for the summer… white bucks. $130 Johnston and Murphy (w/ or w/o Piven)

Square-toes–phase ’em out. Put Boxxy and Silly up for adoption.

5 Responses to “your shoes should be narrow and pointy.”
  1. mysexytree says:

    Good post,
    Although I don’t believe square toe shoes were ever in style.
    They went the way of the PT Cruiser, never really cool, but thier drivers were oblivious.

  2. Broski Conyers says: great image, I actually am gagged in the basement of a MADman.and woman actually there a MADcouple…so akwardly enough im communicating through my palmpilot…I have on mildly squarish shoes heading towards a point…Is this how I ended up here??

  3. I actually threw my last pair of spongebobs out as I move into my NY apartment. Cap toe is the business. I rock the Cole Haan’s in black and Bostonian’s in brown. Those Banana’s look GREAT!

    Hilarious intro.

  4. Joseph says:

    Every few years the conservative fashion generals appear to tell us how the tried and true traditional looks are all that we should ever be wearing. Each generation’s slight contributions look more silly than that of the past and add little of value to the original look they strive to imitate.

    So, you’ll have to forgive me for my clear lack of enthusiasm for “current” fashion trends, since I tired of them decades ago and strive for something, anything, unique in today’s men’s wardrobe. I do wish that I could say that I envy the wardrobe of today’s man, but it would be a lie, because I never fully recovered from the last time that men were stuck with a dull and boring, but timeless, wardrobe from which to choose what to wear.

    I can’t help but to notice how many items on this site I have once owned and since thrown away. And I still don’t regret it to this day! The only thing that I regret is that today’s fashion experts have so little to offer. But, as usual, their time is more limited, because it’s difficult to force men to buy what they already own and wish they didn’t.

  5. John says:

    Forgive me, but these look like old Wall St. tycoon shoes. A squared toe is more hip and younger, though I agree on the really blocky ones. Super pointy, alligator type shoes are a no no period.

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