you know your suit is not 100% value-adding when…

  1. You’ve never had it altered.
  2. You don’t hang it up.
  3. It was purchased as a suit separate and the two sizes you picked are more than 2 sizes apart from traditional suit/jacket pairings — you either have a cartoonish body type or have picked one or both of the sizes inappropriately.
  4. Your pants have more than 1 crease running down them.
  5. Your jacket still has the back/side vents sewn together (that single X-pattern thread, huh?).
  6. Your pants’ ends are jagged.  This isn’t even real to me, but I figure I’ll put it out there.
  7. With your hands at your sides (larger, rounder guys exempt from this one) there is no space between your sleeves and the chest of the jacket.
  8. It has pills and stray threads showing everywhere.
  9. It has a metallic, shimmery sheen (but is not sharkskin).
  10. Your jacket is not by Thom Browne and does not cover your behind.
  11. You jacket is, rather, by Steve Harvey and grazes your kneecaps.
  12. The felt from under the collar is visible (repress immediately).
  13. It was originally black/navy, but now is fading like a pair of black jeans washed and dried in a regular cycle.
  14. Your pants would constantly run under your feet if you were not wearing shoes.
  15. You cannot see your sleeves with your jacket on.
  16. You can see more than 1/4″ to 1/2″ of your sleeves with the jacket on.
  17. Your pants would not stay at your waist without a belt (this should be a goal, eventually.. through tailoring, though, not gut-expansion).
  18. When buttoned, your jacket shows creases from stress/pulling.
  19. When buttoned, your jacket still allows for the smuggling of a baby (or Chipotle burrito) (same thing, really) within.
  20. Your pinstripes are thicker than pins.. and actually more like chalk stripes.
  21. You’ve lent your suit to a friend, and it fit him better than you.
  22. A new shirt and tie do not compliment your suit, but in fact, trump your suit, making it appear worse by comparison.

Run through this list and think about these issues happening with any of your current suits. Then, give them away to charity (or eBay) or set aside money and time for some tailoring. Most of this is ridiculous to most of the readers (hopefully), but hey… you’ve seen many a fellow who can answer yes to some of the more value-decreasing numbers here.

One Response to “you know your suit is not 100% value-adding when…”
  1. I’d like to add:

    You have creases on the back of your jacket from wearing it in the car.

    Not necessarily entertaining, but nonetheless, a pet peeve.

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