house rules.

  1. Never wear a backpack with a suit.
  2. If your arms are getting caught on the baggy torso of your dress shirt, you are wearing a Man-Blouse.
  3. Boxed shirt and tie sets are for children, Einsteins, and arson victims.
  4. Alligator-skin shoes do not look “sharp”.
  5. Your (men’s) clothes should never draw inspiration from women’s. That’s a no-no.
  6. If your wallet OR cell phone naturally go into your manbag, leaving pockets as a distant 2nd or 3rd option)… You, my man, have a functional murse.
  7. Shorts should not end above the midway point in your thigh.
  8. If you cannot find even ONE common color among ANY of the various clothing items you are wearing, you should either remain indoors or be prepared to preface your appearance with a sob story.
  9. When in doubt, chose a standard (fat) tie. A 3-inch will always keep you in the game. Less than 2.5″ and you don’t mean business.
  10. It’s important to break a fashion rule here or there, tastefully. However, more than 2 broken rules at a time will more than likely result in failure, silliness, and overall “snazziness.”
  11. “Snazzy” is the man-equivalent of ‘tacky.’ That’s right, snazzy should leave a bad taste in your mouth, and is, in fact, not a compliment after all.
  12. Basics. Brown shoes, brown belt. Black shoes, black belt. This should be a no-brainer, when things get questionable, ask a woman.
  13. Oh yea, when things get questionable, ask the nearest sensible woman.
  14. Bow-tie usage outside of black tie affairs, will always be a hard sell. Fact of life.
  15. Ripped and/or “dirty” dyed jeans have no place in the world of the business-casual-with-jeans look. They can’t be respectably dressed up for non-creative business.
  16. Skinny ties, skinny knots. No double-windsor knots with medium/skinny ties. (Note: 4-in-hand works well in all cases.)
  17. There are a lot of rules on here that will be broken if you’re in a moderately-to-highly popular band, and that’s okay… it’s just when you’re not on stage, or when you’re not in such a group that this becomes a problem.
  18. Man-cup is not allowed… and by Man-cup I mean men’s make-up. Unless you’re an actor, I suppose… but, well, you’re probably not and the camera’s not always rolling.
  19. Shorts, cool. Denim shorts, not so much. Cropped, abruptly ending pants this summer, cool. Regular pants, cool. Manpris (capris for men), never cool.
  20. Fur coats were never intended for the modern man. Sorry. Feel free to say I’m wrong in 20 years or so when this *might* become acceptable.
  21. Crocs aren’t just ugly and generally forbidden in everyday life, but they’re hazardous, too. (Especially to small Japanese children).
  22. A man’s naval should never show when he’s wearing a shirt. That’s completely intolerable behavior.
  23. Shirts, shorts, pants, ties, pretty much anything with a monogram pattern (ie. little whales) should never be paired with any other clothing containing the same or different monogram pattern. They’re borderline terrible alone anyway, so doubling up is exponentially ruining your look.
  24. Brand-matching is a silly concept.  Don’t be a walking mannequin.
  25. Mandles (sandles) are to be worn, as the English say, “on holiday” and not in town on Thursday night with jeans on your way to the bar.
  26. No white socks with black shoes… actually, no white socks with anything other than athletic shoes.
  27. Socks should match the suit (or shirt… or tie…) but not the shoe.  Unless of course you’re going black on black with a black suit, in which case, the event you are preparing for will probably leave socks as the farthest thing from your mind.
  28. Approach non-wool suits with a cautious, discerning eye. Buy carefully.
  29. Cut down on the amount of time you spend wearing headphones while dressed up. We should all probably listen more anyway.
  30. Buy topcoats the same size as your jacket size, if there are any problems THEN go a size up and tailor as needed. Overcoats were made with clearance room in mind.
  31. The perfectly tailored dress pant needs no belt and has a clean break at the bottom.
  32. Nothing worse than a stained tie.
  33. Suspenders? Strain your face and inhale audibly. That should answer the question.
  34. If you have to wear socks, you shouldn’t be wearing boat shoes.
  35. Buffalo plaid, work boots, handlebar mustache. Pick two of three and go quietly, yuppie.
  36. Cornbread… ain’t nothin’ wrong with that.
  37. The rest of your outfit should calm down the observer’s sense of “Crap, are those white pants?”
  38. More than 3-buttons and that suit better be double-breasted, champ.

Comments
13 Responses to “house rules.”
  1. manshion says:

    Guys feel free to e-mail me House Rule suggestions.

    manshionblog@gmail.com

  2. Rick says:

    The site is interestingly informative and comedic and yet I see a lot of these rules being broken daily. One thing that really gets to me you would only see in the wintertime….hopefully. Fur coats….on men. Unless your Puffy or L.L. Cool J, this is usually not a good look…especially in the middle of a packed club (New Yorkers).

  3. manshion says:

    Noted. Duly noted.

  4. PC says:

    What’s the house rule for open-toe shoes and men’s sandals. Some cats are just reckless out here!

  5. Fabio says:

    Suits with trainers (e.g. Converse, Lacoste shoes, et al?)

    It was chic when I lived in Berlin and I think it can work but the shows must be clean, European and slender. And the suit better rock too.

  6. Beau says:

    what about the douchebag tee? thats a rule that should never be broken.

  7. justin says:

    Great site.

    See ya guys.

  8. Brad says:

    Great site- I’ll be back.

  9. being a woman, just a tip. When you sit down in the summer time, dont let your man business wave at me, if I wanna see, Ill let you know. 🙂

    ps another thing, PLEASE if you wear a tie, don’t let it stop at your mid section, or wear a clip on. You will look like an oversize cub- scout and no thats not cute. Nice site 🙂

  10. I agree that backpacks should not be worn with suits. A more gentlemanly alternative would be a man-clutch. The kind with the little wrist strap. Anyways–great post–I’d love your thoughts (serious, or not) on my website – WhatsInYourManPurse.com – it focuses more on the contents of a man’s bag and what it says about him. We make stuff up if we don’t know. It’s fun! Hope to see you there, and I’ve subscribed to your feed so I’ll be back with more comments.
    -Christina @ WhatsInYourManPurse.com

  11. I’m loving the feedback. Don’t let your man business wave at me..priceless. Lot’s of good rules to live be. Great site. Digging the content.

  12. JD says:

    Man, I love this site! I just discovered it this weekend and have pretty much been poring over it since. Great work, you’re now added to my Favorites!

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